100 Ways to Make Naraku Suffer
by AilovU
Summary: Welcome to my insane paradise where we will make our favourite evil arachnid suffer! Ideas and flames are welcome, and I can add other characters to be tortured. Hope you like! Teh Shamu out.


100 Ways to Annoy Naraku

((A.K.A., 100 ways to get Naraku to kill you))

Disclaimer (I hate these things!) I do not own InuYasha…sadly enough…

50 ways to make Naraku Suffer

**1) Invite him to a tea party at gunpoint. (And make him wear one of those pink tutus while you're at it!! xD)**

**2) Make him watch Teletubbies.**

**3) Make him eat Tubby Toast and say bye-bye in place of La-La (He killed her (yay!!))**

**4) Make him talk to my step-mom's friend, Peggy. (Who talks non-stop for hours. She only stops to take a drink of water.)(THE HORROR!!!)**

**5) Make him read old magazines at gunpoint**

**6) Stuff him in the elevator and make him listen to the elevator music (courtesy of my sister, Justine)**

**7) Stuff him in a glass box and make him mime his way out (courtesy of my sister, Rachel)**

**8) Make him watch happy little forest creatures do a little happy dance (courtesy of (again) my sister, Rachel)**

**9) Give him a Mohawk (Trust me, with hair that long, he'll come after you with a need to kill-)**

**10) Make him drunk and then force him to tell you how many books had to die for those stupid batteries**

**11) Show him a picture of my sister, Ali (If you're happy-go-lucky, you'll want to go suicidal after seeing HER face. cringes and the worst part is, I LIVE WITH HER)**

**12) Make him wear a cheesy western-style outfit and then take him square dancing.**

**13) Set him up on a date with Malibu Barbie (courtesy of Justine)**

**14) Rip off his head and let the Minnesota Thunder soccer team use it for soccer practice( Remember, he's still alive, even after getting his head ripped off. He'll feel the pain)**

**15) Introduce him to Spongebob Squarepants **

**16) Put him on the show with Dr. Phil (Ya know the fake T.V. therapist)**

**17) Make him listen to my sister name all the hairs on her head. And under her armpits.**

**18) introduce him to Happy Bunny (batteries not included)**

**19) Smell my dad's feet, Naraku.**

**20) make him eat Lobster Bisk (a disgusting Californian soup. It made me gag like there was no tomorrow)**

**21) Every time he's having an evil moment, ask him if he wants some cheese.**

**22) Every time he's announcing his evil plans to Kagura and Kanna, Cough and say things like loser and stupid and it'll never work**

**23) Feed my sister a lot of beans and stick him in the same room as her as he dies from her noxious vapors**

**24) Prance around throwing flower pedals into his hair while singing the Spiderman theme song 24/7**

**25) Torture my cat, Kitten (Vegas), to the brink of insanity then sic 'im on Naraku. He'll tear his lovely (cough, cough Sorry, I had something in my throat. Please continue.) face to bits.**

**26) Whenever you see Naraku thinking (Or trying to think, for that matter.) take a light bulb and place it over his head. When he demands that you tell him what you were doing, claim that you were only trying to help him think, for once in his long, pitiful life.**

**27) When you see Naraku reading, rugby tackle him and claim that you were only trying to save him from getting a paper-cut.**

**28) put him in a spider cage and shake it continuously, saying "Look, look, I think it moved!!!-"**

**29) Make him eat Hungarian Goulash. (Another Gag-Me food.)**

**30) Stick him into a room full of InuYasha fan-girls who will try to kill him because he tried to kill InuYasha. (Personally, I really don't like InuYasha.)**

**31) Put Naraku into the same room as that little penguin dude on the Hubba-Bubba Max commercials. He'll eventually commit suicide on his own free will.**

**32) Strap Naraku to a chair and force him to listen to Ashley Simpson's horrid singing. (I and my sisters all agree that she SUCKS!!!)**

**33) Let Naraku kill my little sister, Justine for annoying me half-to death. (Just 'cause I want him to.)**

**34) Dress him up in a chicken costume and make him do the Chicken Dance with all sorts of rubber chickens.**

**35) Make him go on the McDonalds commercial and make him say "Bada-bababa---I'm lovin' it!!"**

**36) Make InuYasha kiss him. (YUCK!!!)**

**37) Make him…. I dunno. I'm running out of ideas. Help? R&R, PLEASE!!!!!**

**38) Tie him up and give him a thousand 'Purple Nurples'!!!**

**39) Strap him to a post, put on some VERY pointy high-heeled shoes, and kick him in the groin numerous times. Hopefully, the man (or thing) wasn't thinking of having children anytime soon…or ever. That man should never have children.**

**40) Keep on going on about how brilliant his plans are, and then tell him how disappointed you are that they never work, and then suggest that he gives up.**

**41) Make him listen to my little sister, Christina's, lame attempts to be as random as me**

**42) Cut his hair short and dye it pink. Then, cut his insides out and sacrifice him to the almighty Rabid Squirrel god!**

**43) Set rabid chipmunks on him**

**44) Set a kitty demon on him (Kitties like to eat spiders :D)**

**45) Make him baby sit Shippo for about 24 hours (Believe me, that is enough to drive anyone insane. Not that he isn't already. I mean, he holds an organ in his hand!)**

**46) Two words: The Wiggles**

**47) One word: Boohbahs**

**48) Put him in the same room as the farting toasters and vicious toilets and rabid turtles.**

**49) Decorate the spider scar on his back with little smiley faces**

**50) Make him absorb poodles so that he'll become half-poodle**

**51) Let my friend, Ayame, have her way with him. She thinks he's hot.**

**52) Stick him with Kon and Rin Rin from Bleach. (Kon is the lion stuffed animal, while Rin Rin is the deformed chicken. Look it up on Google.)**

**53) Throw him in the field of the happy little dancing daisies. **

**54) When he kills the happy little forest creatures (No. 8), make them come back to life; REVENGE OF THE HAPPY LITTLE (well, angry, really) FOREST CREATURES!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!**

**55) Make him dance with the happy little forest creatures**

**56) Make him sing a trio with a squirrel and a rabbit**

**57) Tie him up, stick a pole through one ear and pull it out the other, making it go back and forth, while saying "WEEEEE!" the whole time**

**58) Stick him in a restraint jacket and then into an oval-shaped sleeping bag while singing, "Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener, that is what I'd truly like to be-e-e. 'Cause if I were an Oscar Meyer wiener, everyone would be in love with me!"**

**59) Force him to sing, "You are my Sunshine, my only Sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey…"**

**60) Poke him continuously while saying, "Stupid spider, stupid spider…" every time you poke him**

**61) When he's having a battle keep saying, "Omigosh! Cheese!!"**

**62) Stick a pickle up his nose and dance around singing "I like big butts and I cannot lie, you other brothers can't deny. When a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist and you get a round thang in your face you get SPRUNG...!"(Let's try to keep it PG here)**

**63) Let a little kid do face painting on him**

**64) Put headphones on him and force him to listen to the Hamster Dance Song 24/7**

**65) Ask him continuously if he'd let you braid his hair, then when he finally says, "If it'll make you shut up, go on ahead." Give him a buzz cut and say, "It's an improvement." when he starts to get pissed.**

**66) When, again, he's having an evil moment, shove a pink 2-headed dog/poodle-thing into his face and squeal, "Aw…..lookit him! I'n't he KEWT?!?!?? I think it's the child of Fluffster and Cerberus…the three-headed guard dog of the Underworld…Hades' domain…." as it bites off his random body parts.**

**  
Well, I seriously need new ideas, so please R&R. I NEED HELP!**

** Luff,**

** Teh Shamu  
(Or Nel. Whichever one ish fine. xD)  
**


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